HE SAID, SHE SAID

He said "I've done more with you in bed in months than I did with someone in years."
She said "I've done less in bed in these months than I ever did with a one night stand."

WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?
xo.

DUMB GIRL/WORD SALAD.

Here she is. A year later. Same position. Doggystyle. Anal. Bathroom. Different guy. And she remembers that day and the way he followed her up the stairs. She knew he wanted her soooo bad but this time it was a different. And she played along. He was surprised. They laughed about what happened. How they almost got caught. How funny it was. Until SHE called. Then he left her. And she waited and waited and let go. And now she's here. Something new. Something fresh. Something different yet so familiar...Is she happy? Or faking it like the orgasms shes been having lately? Why does everything so bad feel so damn good yet in the end, it all hurts like a motherfucker when it's time to pick up the pieces and and keep on truckin'. It's ridiculous. He knows it. She knows. Even SHE knows it. But it took until now to realized how SHE feels. SHE feels exactly like her. Wants him. Needs him. Will fuck herself over to try and tame him...And SHE has him. And she has him. But she's up all night. And he's up all night. But maybe, just maybe...all over again.

I'm a LIAR.

(I haven't blogged in foreverrr. My sis claims I fucked up her computer so she's not letting me use it anymore & my computers charger is being lame so I'm computerless BUT if iI had a job, I'd have $$$ to buy one! Anyways, long story short my other sister let me borrow her computer so yaaaay.) So anyways...

Hi, I'm Trisha and I'm an alcoholic. And a liar.

I'm soooo emberassed with myself. Last night I drank with my homegirls even though I had promised my boyfriend I wouldn't drink without him. I ended up calling and saying stupid stuff to him. Ugggh. I've become what I hate. It's fucking horrible. I should've been honest but I lied. And today I couldn't lie to his face & told him that indeed I had drank. He got sooo upset. I failed him again. And honestly, I would understand if he never talks to me ever again.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Lying sucks. It really does. Someone always gets hurt. It's not fair, but neither is life. How dumb I to lie to a cutie that had wrote a song about me 2 days before.

You've got the most beautiful face

Lips so sweet it's hard to resist I need a taste

You take me far, this feeling cannot be replaced

Where were you when my life was the thing to waste?

I feel like I've met you in a past life

When I am with you I'm happy all the time

No point for anger 'cause you make feel worthy and so alive

Sometimes when we're together what's wrong just becomes right

I never wanna lose you

No intention to use you

I've waited for you to ressurect me

Breathe life into me, you see right through me

You're so precious loving you feels like a sin

So many reasons for you to leave me, shit! where to begin

I've lied, I'm an addict but you've never lost hope

Even when I confessed about me dangling by a rope

I never wanna hear you cry

I wanna love you till the day I die

I promise to care for you, treat you right

Cause the moments spent together  I just feel so alive

-RiRi

Don't I feel like an idiot?

Xoxxo,

tri$ha

Nurturing Type

Lewinsky here, going to blog about something rather than proof that Mel didn't invite to L.A art walk/5* bar but whatever, sooooo over it. Anyways, I have a few things in my mind I feel need to be said to the world about guys, relationships, cheating, and great sex.

"The Other Woman"
  That used to be me. I got a rush out of guys cheating on their girlfriends with me. I loved the chase and the thrill of claiming someone that wasn't supposed to be mine for an hour or so. This was amazing BUT do not think I was out whoring around for pleasure. If I was gonna be number 2, you best believe I was getting some hush money, or at least some good drugs(at the time). Eventually it got boring and I met this guy...

"the EX UGLY girlfriend"
  So it happened twice. I met my high school sweetheart. We fell into puppy love and close to our one year anniversary he finally tells me he's in love with his ex girlfriend BUT that he wanted to go talk to her & for me to wait for him. Ummm, how about a big fuck no?! So of course I just decided to party and boy was that some of the funnest times of my life. But anyways fastforward to my next relationship where I meet this guy who was sooo ugly but I fell in love with him inside then out but that's a different story. So he tells me all the things his ex girlfriend did to him and I was like OMG no wayyy!!!~ &then one day I get a friend request on fb...from his ex. Lo and behold, it unraveled before my eyes they had a thing going on & I confronted him about it & guess what he says after I begged him I forgave him(ugggh I know, stupid girl) &he said "I've known her longer. Sorry." &then he fed me this bullshit about how he was heading to a makeup show with her &if nothing happened he'd call me back. He never did. Until months later, where we had great sex & I found he was still with her...He was cheating on her with me. Ironic.
  Anyways, so I realized then FUCK. It happened to me twice?! WTF is wrong with me. I looked at both of their ex gf's and I just couldn't see it...I'm ~pr3ttier!!!#$@ But then I realized what they both relationships had in common...

"Breeding"
  First boyfriend I'll refer to as J  was chasing after his ex. I would listen to him talk about her & it bugged me because I liked him but we were friends so I had to hold it in. Being the realist I am, I give good advice & don't bullshit., but I heard him out. & I was there. & while she was ignoring him, I was there. & J asked me out. &it was amazing for a while but I was just a temporary fix until he realized he was still missing K(the ex).
  Second man, C, had gotten out of a relationship. &although he wasn't the hottest guy(at the time), I went out with him. &I spoiled him. &I put him on a pedastal, heard him out, was there for hiim while his ex was out eating doing I don't know what. I was a temporary fix for him as well until his ex came back. &he jumped on the chance to go for her...
  So analyzing, the situation, I realize that I'm a temporary fix for men, even in relationships. They come for me for comfort, for someone to nurture them, to feed them all the attention in the world until they are fulfilled and ready to go back to where they feel home is...and it wasn't in my arms.

"KARMA?"
  For a long time, I felt this was karmas way of coming to bite me in the ass for all the time I got a rush from being the other women. And maybe it was. But this was different. I was toying with emotions, I was toying with their dick!

"Right Now"
  The relationship I am in now, he's very caring. I'm happiest in a month with R than I was with those 2 assholes up there combined. BUT he was in a serious relationship with some crackhead before me for six years. They lived together. Yeah, that's some serious shit. &then here I come to the rescue telling him he deserves the best & all that jazz & we're together.
  And here I am writing this. Because for once in my life I have no fucking idea what to do. It's happened to me twice before. I should leave him now before it happens to me again but I'm intrigued at this hint of love. I want to stick around but I want to leave before I get hurt. He says he wont put me through shit and that he's completely over her BUT he spends the weekends sleeping over her house to work with her dad. &if I know ugly girls the way I do, I can see me blogging in the future a big "I FUCKING TOLD YOU TO LEAVE WHEN..." but somehow I want to stay. Because he has a baby face. And puppy eyes. &gives good head. Oh and he loves me. &he got cheated on as well. So I'm gonna stay, for now. Ultimately I just want R to love me without having anyone else in the back of his mind.

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I'm a massochist. I love when something hurts good, physically. But I might just chase pain emotionally as well. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. Either way, I hope it works out with me and R.

I saw this quote somewhere once & it just summarized me:
"I'm the nurturing type. I take in broken bad boys only for them to bite. But is it something I like?"

xo.
-tri$ha

P.S
FUCK YOU MEL FOR NOT INVITING ME OR MURPHY!