Trisha here. I don't always post, but when I do it's because I have something on my mind...I've always had an open mind to when it comes to cheating because I've seen and been around with people on both sides of the stories.And I remember once being a teenager and watching the Sex and the City episode about the Cheating Curve and I remember I forever stayed intrigued by "cheating". I've seen some of the people I care about the most been cheated on and I've been around people who have cheated or were cheating right in front of me. I don't judge so it's like I just turn the other way so the question remains, What really IS cheating? And, is it ever okay to cheat?
Now some people can say up front, why Trisha, sleeping with any one besides your partner is cheating!
And I agree, sleeping with someone out of your relationship IS cheating. I'd hate for my boyfriend to have to sleep with someone else. Ugggh, the thought of it makes my skin crawl...But is sleeping with someone else during a relationship ever okay? Men are notorious for being dirty dogs(duh!) but it's also known for females to be bitches. And I'm not throwing any shade to women in particular but when it comes to cheating on their boyfriends, I think girls do it more than guys but for different reasons. While I think guys cheat on their gf's to get their dick wet, I think some girls do it for the lack of attention their partner is giving them. People tend to be extremely open with me about their problems(seriously, sometimes I'm like uhhh do I even know you?!) but I'm open minded and chill that I'll hear them out + people have told me I give good advice(although I don't follow my own -_-). Anyways, I've seen this phenomenon happen. Starts off with "ugggh! James is getting on my nerves. He doesn't pay attention to me anymore!~" and then to "Johny texted me :O" which quickly turns to "Going out with Johny tonight ;]" and then the grand finale "I need to talk to you. I cheated on James :/". And with that, I'm inclined to hear a story about what led to the cheating and it tends to be lack of intimacy with their partners, or getting that special attention from someone else, etc. All in all, most people I've seen end up this way end up re-falling in love with their partner. They feel the guilt of what they've done and after that they realized that they don't want to be with anyone other than their love.
So now that we got this type of girl out the way, lets get the other type of cheating out the way. I've known girls to just say "Cheated on James :]". This type of cheater is the opposite of the Trina. They know their partner loves them. They know they have someone there for them. But they just don't get the thrill from them. So they cheat, once in a while, when they want that extra thrill mostly in their sex lives. This is the cheater I don't necessarily admire but I can't judge too much because they're not doing it intentionally to hurt anybody but mostly to satisfy their own needs. I see this with the youngest of the people. And they don't confess to doing anything wrong, until their caught. With this type of cheater, I've seen their guilt seep over to "I think James is cheating on with me Karen...", and always making up excuses as to why they think their bf is cheating on them. I think it's to make them feel better about what they're doing.
Ohhh, Pamela, you crazy, crazy girl. Between a Marilyn and Trina of good and bad there's a small percentage of Pamela. I say small because I've only known one Pamela and I could never forget her. Few girls don't cheat because of lack of affection or getting a good fuck. They cheat because they've been around a while to know what's up with most guys and tend to trust a few. It's because they kind of live a double life. I remember Pamela talking to me and I was just in awe of how bat shit crazy(not really) she was. She had quoted that cheating doesn't exist, unless you get caught(very Samantha Jones of her). Anyways, she had this on going fling with a guy while having this seemingly nice guy buy her side. She was a master at it really. She'd be texting her "other" man in front of her current man like it was no big deal. She had him under a girl name. And for every possible scenerio I asked her about getting caught, she had an amazing out of this world story of how she ended up in the situation. She said she'd never got. I don't think she has til this day. But deep down I think she gets off on one day getting caught.
So now we have the Trina, the Marilyn, and little miss Pamela. Cheaters. Fucking other men whilst having a boyfriend. But is that all that cheating really is? Frannkly, I don't think so.
I think cheating doesn't necessarily have to be anyone going out to fuck while being in a serious relationship. I think cheating begins when the person starts deleting text messages, erasing phone calls, changing passwords, and hiding shit from their partner in general. Personally, I think this is the most hurtful kind of cheating. A person can fuck and that can be it. It's just sex, But when a partner takes interest in someone elses personality wise, it's a whole other level of hurt. I say this because I've been cheated on what I consider both ways. And I thought a guy sleeping with another girl was bad, pfffft...didn't prepare for when I caught a guy interested in some girl via text/talk. What hurt the most was that at one point, during the exchanging of numbers, I did NOT cross their mind. But I don't judge him, I don't judge him *Drake voice*.
So in all honesty, do I think cheating is ever okay? No. BUT I keep an open mind that sometimes you need to see/feel somebody to know if what you have with somebody is the real thing. Does it necessarily mean having to kiss/fuck somebody, no. Does it suck having to put the one you claim to love hearts' on the line for your selfish ass to figure out what YOU want but being greedy to not have to let go and then try to work things out after the dirty work? Yeah, it sucks.
I don't know if this made sense to anybody. But I hope it helps somebody else so that they don't feel guilty or alone or if they want help? You can email me if you have any questions/problems...I'm pretty good at advice and don't have a life whatsoever so email me firstname.lastname@example.org...you can be totally anonymous.