Tuesday, June 28, 2011

PUSSY EATING 101

It's Trisha here, and I been neglecting my part of the blog waaaaah :[ But I'm back, with some great news...I'm pregnant. I just found out. It's 2:47a.m...I'm freaking out. KIDDING! What I'm here doing up so late is daydreaming about receiving head, good head.

   A lot of girls are self conscious about letting their men go down town yet they're quick to go on their knees to please their man. Soooo not the business ladies! But that is no more, for Trisha Lewinsky is here to share some quick tips on how to enjoy getting your pussy eaten out and how to enjoy the orgasm you'll receive to the fullest extent.

Pre-Pussy Eating
   Ahh yes, believe it or not there is a secret pre pussy eating experience ritual that ALL females have to do before they send their men down south. We're talking men here ladies! They never know what they're doing, so do you expect them to know how to please you? How can this be solves. Masturbation. Try it. Explore you're body. Know which spots make you warm between the legs. Once you've established that, REALLY get to know your body. Rub your clit. Just do it, nobody is watching ;] Stroke it til you know what kind of stroking really tickles your fancy. Stick a finger in your vag while rubbing and if you're feeling extra brave, stick a finger in your pooper. Once you get a feel of what you like, you're one step closer to achieving your well deserved orgasm.

So you've just masturbated...you're a sinner!
But that's okay, because now you have a clue of  what type of sensations make your toes curl. But that's just us doing the work. Always the ladies. So imagine how hot it's going to feel when you make your boyfriend go down on you and you guide him and all you get to do is enjoy the satisfaction of his tongue licking in and all around your vag and then you get to see your wetness all over his beard. Are you getting ready for your next romp in the sack? Not quite yet!

Things to keep in mind
1)We're girls. We're self conscious about certain stuff. We all think "ohh man what if i taste like a fish market". and truth is, most of us don't(of course there are exceptions...) Anyways, most of us ladies have had to live with this mindset that if we don't wash our snatch we smell like shrimp tacos so we tend to keep good maintenance down there. So just a shower will do. You don't have to shower 5 minutes before to get busy. If you're really that self conscious about your smell, use feminine wipes before getting down to the get down. And if that still doesn't put you at ease, consider setting up an appointment with your gyno.
2)Aside from smell, we worry about what we taste like. AND WE"RE FEMALES! Of course we taste delicious! Each and every one of us has a unique taste but one thing's for sure, all pussy has the same aftertaste in the mouth. It's not a bad taste but there's definitely a taste. BUT DO NOT WORRY, because by the time you've came in your guys mouth, he should already be making out with you, super hard, boning your brains out.

For those with confidence.
Add some wine to your pre foreplay showdown. It's make you tipsy and more at ease. Some guys go a little crazy down there and end up licking your butthole, which feels great, but to some women, sounds crazy/might be a little awkward if you're sober but feels amaaaaazing when you're buzzing. Like super amaziiiing.

Be a leader.
As soon as the "we're gonna fuck" cue goes off, initiate the golden rule "You ain't lickin' it, you ain't stickin' it". That's why we get called easy so often. We give them the whole package without really feeling the wrapper and shaking the box. And yes, i did totally compare pussy to opening presents on Christmas morning! I mean guys get it so easy, in and out, in and out, in and out and BAM! they're done! And most females can't reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation. Pffft, I don't think so! You better work your goodies girlfriend! So anyways, as soon as you wanna get freaky, push him downstairs. Not literally...but initiate you want it. Like "kiss me here" and point to your vag. Or start touching yourself in front of him and he'll enjoy the show and as he's in awe of you guide his head between your legs and grab him and make his tongue imitate you taught yourself that feels good but with his tongue. Doesn't that feel good. Make him stick your tongue in there, it's the ultimate fourplay teaser. Tell him to kiss your inner thighs, your vag lips and to lick UP and DOWN your clit. If you're never gonna see him again, make him lick that ass too unless you had a late night run to Taco Bell, then you might wanna wait that one out unless you're like me and really don't give a fuck.
You decide.
Ultimately it's up to you to decide if you want to finish yourself off, or get down to the hanky panky. There's bound to be a few yaaaaaawns when no matter how much you're trying to help, he doesn't seem to be doing it right. So while he's shoving his tongue up your vag, use your favorite finger to rub the magic clit and VOILA, splash all over his face and send his ass home. Or leave! He'll definitely think it's hot that you came on his face and left and he'll probably try to holla at some of dat ass...you decide if it's worth a second try or not worth your time.
-or-
when you get that intense feeling, because he's doing such a good job that you feel you gotta whip out your magic finger to finish yourself off, stop and get to fucking. Ride him and rub your clit. And as you come on him, he'll feel your tight pussy wrap around his wee cock & and he wont be far from coming himself so after you finish, help your boy out. If he's your boyfriend, swallow. If he's not, spit it out. Don't be a hoe and let him come in you...unless it's in the butt. Just kidding.

In conclusion, make the guy you're gonna fuck eat you out. Because you deserve it! ;D

Xoxxo.

2 comments:

  1. lmao fuckin trish i love you, you're the shit-brenda

    ReplyDelete
  2. you should write more blogs like this. oh! also, a blog for guys to covert from being little bitches to becoming more of man

    ReplyDelete