MELNUTRISHION: SOBER FAIL.

So as you all know, I've been trying to stay sober for 40 days. Well I failed...I got shit faced last Friday night with the girls. I have not been this shit faced since last year when I drank two and a half 4Lokitas and got my ass beat by some guy in a hotel restroom. YIKES...point is,I fell of my sober wagon, and I feel like a failure. I let myself down but most of all, I let my boyfriend down. I had promised him I wouldn't drink without him and it sucks that for a moment in time, having tequila shots burning down my throat was worth losing his trust. I hate it. And I hate myself...Tequila wasn't what fucked me over. Nope, it was good ol' Nuvo. It's such a creeper. Tastes like candy so you think you're not drinking anything. Next thing you know, you're on the curb of the street, throwing up, with your phone stolen. I don't even remember how I got home. The next day when I awoke, I realized I had came in through my window, my last desk drawer was out, there was an unopened bottle of my dads Jerez brandy on my desk, a top ramen soup in a bowl with just water in the powder(it wasn't cooked) & my the control to my batteries were out. Yeaaah, can anyone say intervention time? JUST KIDDING.
Back to my guilt though, I feel soooo bad for belittleling(sp?) my boyfriends trust. I feel like shit. I lost my phone so now I have to talk to him on my house phone(yuck!) and text him via yahoo instant messenger. Not to mention, I been applying for jobs and I have no phone so lets see how that goes...
I have faith in myself though. I have a great support system. I wont ever cut drinking cold turkey, but I wish I had more self control when it's around me. I cannot ever say no...especially to Nuvo, sweet sweet Nuvo. Mmmm<3
The night was amaziiing, from what the parts I can actually remember. I met a lot of new people who I encouraged to read this blog :D

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