My Story I

So this is an “experimental” blog, I feel like its all over the place, but wtv, its experimental. I mainly post about music, fashion, cultural stuff but today i shall share my love life which is pretty pathetic/sad, but hopefully someone out there can relate from previous heartbreaks. So i fell for this one guy who i would always see at my local starbucks, he looked a couple of years (6years) older than me not a big BIGGY, he knew how to dress, he looked like he was into good music, handsome, he seemed like an interesting lad. Yet i had beryl graduated h.s. and i was extreamlyyyy naive & innocent. I never imagined even being this guys friend, yet alone being in a relationship with him. But hey things happened & i started talking to him(due to Trish), then dating him, losing my virginity to him (wrong move) and then being in a relationship with him. But wtv he made me feel content & happy every time i stared into those dark dark brown eyes, for i thought he was different from the rest of the guys out there (he was smart, mature, good career with his life figured out). So with time i guess i "fell in love with him” and he seemed to like me to. Any who enough of this cheesy fairy like story of a naive young girl falling for some older mature good looking fella & them living happily ever after (this isn’t no Disney fairy tale). 

One night i received a phone call at 2 a.m i was asleep but i got a voice mail, i woke up early the next day to a missed call & v.m of  my then bf and i was thinking, hmmm he probably left me some drunken vm saying how much he missed me since he had invited me to go over that previous night. Farrrr from the truth, reality was that the voice mail was a girl moaning, so i was like wtffffff! & i mean what would you do/think in my position?!?  My head was spinning and turning with endless thoughts. Maybe he was drunk watching some porn? Maybe someone took over his phone?....Then later that day after i called him & he never answered i got a txt from him saying...“its true i’ve been sleeping with someone, im sorry...im an asshole”. Bang that was like a Ak-47 bullet shot straight to my heart. I cried & sent him a bunch of angry txt such as, “die slow mother fucker” “i hope you get aids” etc. Then i realized its life, & it goes on, yes i got my heartbroken i didn't deserve this bullshit, i was a total dumb bitch, but i knew i had to move on and that this whole experience would only make me stronger /wiser in the end. It happens to the best of us, & over all men are all pigs who have pussy on there minds 24/7. I was copping with my heartbreak pretty good, i did a bunch of life reflections & + i have some of the best friends which helped me along.

This all happened in December 2010 before the holidays, pathetic i know but wait theres more! Sunday after new years i get a visit by my ex’s roommates, when i saw them yelling my name outside my house i was shocked, they’re all great people but what the fuck are they doing outside my house? They had come to informe me that my ex had fallen off a 2nd story building & how it was a mircle he was still alive & that he would most likely have brain damage if he pulls threw. I was like sayyy waaatttt....it felt so un real, like a fictional dream. I said i hated this person at the time i found out of his cheating, but in reality i didn’t, after i just pitied him for what he had done. I never meant for him to “die slow”. I cried my self to sleep that night for i hadn’t spoken to him ever since i found out about him fucking some ugly bitch(the girl he was sleeping with is walmart trash & has some lose screws in her head) and i didn’t know much about his situation or what had occurred, i simply knew that he was drunk and had fallen of a second story building, & it was a mircle he was still alive and that if he made it he would have brain damage. Pretty fucked up story huh? 

Why was this happening to me, im far from perfect but i am an extremely nice person who believes in + energy, karma so i try to treat everyone with respect & i go out of my way to help others when i can. My story goes on but i think this post is too long so if i get any comments replies i’ll continue with more details of this melodramatic situation, which lead to me having stress knots in my neck(yuck). Moral of this first part is that what goes around does eventually goes around, & listen/consider your closet friends words of wisdom. Feel free to comment,tell me your opinions, have you had a more fucked up first love story wtv i will appreciate any feedbacks. xoxo